Stupid Quotes
From stupid people




Here is a list of Stupid and Funny things that people have said over the last couple years or so. If you are from Townsend or Ashby you might actually understand some of them. If your not, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!!! I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO LEAVE. You people just don't listen.
Anyway, on with the madness..................................



"I gots to kill me a squirrrrrrrrel!!"
                    -The guy behind us at Jimmy Buffett


"I didn't think you were old enough to like Men Without Pants."
                    -My Aunt Ann...referring to Men Without Hats, of course


"Think looooong and hard."
                    -Jackie...during a convo about BJ's(see, now its funny)


"LOOK! She bent over!"
                    -Anthony. And yes, the girl he's talking about heard him


"But Mr. Cup doesn't have an Upham."
                    -Sam


"I need testosterone. GO TO BED!!!!!"
                    -Ashley, the girl from Camp Waklo


"I want to be the first guy to cross the Atlantic on a Floaty Chair."
                    -My Dad....what aspirations


"Hey, it's all the way down! Oh wait, no it isn't, you're just not sitting on it right."
                    -Me, referring to Ashley sitting on a rolley chair


"I don't have a hole for screwing."
                    -Devin(he's talking about building a deck)


"Yeah, why don't we get some corpses!"
"What kind of corpses?"
"Dead ones."
                    -Most of my lunch table, while discussing senior pranks


"I can't see! I'M DEAF!!"
                    -Joe Waldrop


"Look! Some dead rocks."
                    -Wee Joe


"Fenton, you can be our spokesperson."
"But I can't spokes good."
                    -Me and Fenton


"Do you duck when you get on Marine 1?"
"No. Why, should I?"
"Nah, I think the blades are high enough."
                    -Martin Sheen and his Advisor, on 'The West Wing'


"I've got A.D.D. That stands for Attention Deficit....umm..."[walks away]
                    -Chris Jette


"We're not drunk!"
::Raises hand:: "I am."
                    -My whole family..followed by my dad.


"I keepm speling things wrong"
                    -Lisa


"No one tosses a Dwarf!!"
                    -The Lord of the Rings


"I'm not going to reiterate, or repeat myself, again."
                    -Ms. Hood, my english teacher


"I will f*ck you 'till you love me...faggot"
                    -Mike Tyson


"OH NO! There's a monkey in my yard!"
                    -Fenton


"You forgot the cymbal."
                    -Fenton, again


"Does it smell bad?"
                    -Fenton


"She's a married woman, and so am I."
                    -Mr. Demaio


"I can't come over Saturday cause I'm having sex with my gerbil Willy"
"What?"
"I said....I can't come over Saturday because I'm having sex with my gerbil Willy!!"
"Oh...I thought you said something weird."
                    -Ben and Tony


"See this ruler!?"
"That's a screwdriver."
                    -Ryan and Ben


"::clap clap:: Pants on! ::clap clap:: Pants off! Hehe YOoooooou're pantsless!"
                    -Ashley


"Whats a thong?"
"It'th wordth thet to muthic."
                    -Ethan and my dad


"Ryan, don't think you're getting in MY car with all that garbage in your pants!"
                    -My mom


"Can I have a special toy for my child under 3?"
"Where is he?"
"In my pants."
                    -Ryan, and the woman at Wendy's


"Well, You, sir...Suck."
                    -Ryan


"Don't make fun of guys that wear kilts....they carry a 7 inch blade in their socks."
"OOhhhh, so that's what they're calling it now"
                    -Miah and Ashley, and if I can add....what is it doing in their socks? Are they panty hose or something?


"Hey there sexy!"
"Lisa, I'm NOT THAT SEXY!!!!"
                    -Lisa and Nick


"Hi"
                    -Me, in response to above


"I LOVE Grumpy old men!!"
                    -Ashley


"Shpadoinkle"
                    -From "Cannibal the Musical"


"I like to sit on Mary-Jane's lap"
                    -Riannon


"I'm the king of the.....SHIIIIT"
                    -Me


"Don't ever, ever, tell your wife you have a girlfriend"
                    -Anonymous


"The Fender, THE!!!!"
                    -Miah


"Feeeeeeeel the Ketchup."
                    -Ryan

"So, what would happen if Antonio Freeman sacked Brett Favre?"
                    -My Aunt Carol(Referring to my fantasy football team)(Freeman and Favre are
                     on the same team, in case you didn't know that)


"Burnt Fried Dough!"
                    -Zach


"Does this mean what I think it do?"
"It do."
                    -2 guys talking, from the movie "The Alamo"


"Oh, a lung"
                    -From an "educational" science video


Summer Camp Quotes


"Welcome to the Ghetto"
                    -Gabrielle, the coolest Italian kid ever


"We found your camp on the internet....we were looking for porn"
                    -Gabrielle again


"Work it Enchilada!!"
                    -Aaron, to some kid who's last name was Burrito


"Word."
                    -Cory LaPointe(If you know who Cory Lapointe is, you'll understand why this is funny)


Camp Collier Quotes


"Where are you from?"
"Scotland"
"Really? What part?"
"Dublin."
"Isn't that in Ireland?"
"No...Dublin, Scotland"
                    -Cravedi, and some girl he was hitting on


"I'm going spelunking for more chicken."
                    -Mike Penney


"HEY, you found my weed!"
                    -Jared Silvesrti's Cub Scout Brother, about the lakeweed we took out of the swimming area


"This water is freezing warm."
                    -Annonymous Cub Scout


"I don't give two rats of a Fuck"
                    -Tony, showing off his wonderful insult skills


"Why don't you go to Canada and find someone who cares!"
                    -Ron the Cub Scout..another brilliant comeback


"Why don't you write it on a pole and....GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY"
                    -Calvin, mocking Mike's meaningless comebacks


"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
                    -Me and Mike, at 6 Flags...and beyond


"UBERNASTRUM!!!!!!"
                    -Various




More is on the way
If you know of any stupid quotes or funny things that you heard,
Send them to me